Sunday, January 3, 2016

the dregs of christmas

Tomorrow is, theoretically, a return to normalcy. And, more accurately, the official introduction to the 3-4 months of suck that immediately follow the holiday season. And while I'm not posting idyllic reflections on 2015, nor advertising doomed resolutions for 2016, I have a few tentative hopes for the new year:

  • Work on being a nicer, more patient version of myself
  • Put down the smart phone and pick up books! (remember those?)
  • Remember that I used to write and see if anything resembling talent/skill/acumen remains
Thus, I return to blogging - which is really nothing more than typing into a word document with the very slight potential that another human being may stumble across the ramblings and read more than a sentence. So we're heading back to work for the first time in two weeks in about 12 hours, and all I can think about is how little I accomplished over those two weeks.

Most notably, I have failed to find a place for all of the miscellaneous remnants of Christmas gifts. Frankly, it's a miracle I've found a place for about 90% of the junk we introduced to our house since Parker's 4th Birthday five days before Christmas. I'm compiling a list of items that, should anyone purchase for Parker or send home with her, I will likely punch that person in the face. This list so far includes:

  • Any item that amplifies her voice. Ignoring the fact that Parker is the LOUDEST child I have ever met, she has no less than 5 microphones at this point - 3 of which she received in the last two weeks! 
  • A size 4 or 5 long-sleeved shirt or sweater. I literally cannot shut her dresser drawer even after removing 5 or 6 shirts that she never seems to wear but still fit her perfectly 
  • Any play-doh related paraphernalia. I purchased a GIANT new storage bin, and even after throwing away all of her old, mixed-up play-doh, everything new she got still doesn't fit 
  • Sugar in ANY form. Includes gummies and TicTacs, one of which she always brings home from a visit with her grandparents 
 My mother-in-law let Parker bring 2 toys home that are Mama-and-Papa house toys after a visit Saturday, including a ukulele and she's on my shit list. I need a bigger house. Or less toys.

Things should improve greatly once we bring a new baby into the house in June. And despite the fact that this is baby number 2, and we have most of the things we need, this new baby (gender TBD) received no less than 3 Christmas gifts this year! At some point, gratefulness turns into "enough already!"

And filled with this post-holiday cheer, I head back to work.